what have i become?

it's me here...blogging izn't my interest yet i think it's time to be honest and write something.

I can't really recall how long since i was named Timothy by my ex-youth pastor (kelvin lim) where he was in the youth ministry and p.shakers ministry.

It was when i came to KL and i learned to be mature in my christian walk and soon after i discovered that my name simply means honoring God.

Sometimes i wondered what have i become?

Do i really honor God?

i was once on fire,in the year 2008.I did my quiet time,organize revival prayer meeting,serving in church prayer,vision day,secret place,praise celebration...i went all out for God.Hospital was always in my mind,and gospel is always what i speak forth.

09,

i felt coldness in my heart,freezing..

God,are you there?

do you hear me?

Hello?

and slowly i walked away...

I think it's obvious that i backslide,and i know that many people knows about it...

I started to club again,smoked again,drink again and did many things which are contradicting to the word of God...I started giving excuses to skip my serving in church,begin late for services and sometimes don't even feel like going....

until today..

daniel shared a word from zephaniah 3:17

The Lord your God in your midst,the Mighty One,will save;He will rejoice over you with gladness,He will quiet you with His love,He will rejoice over you with singing.

and we started singing amazed by desperation

verse:

You dance over me,

while I am unaware,

You sing all around,

but I never hear the sound,

chorus:

Lord i am amazed by you ( x3 )

How you love me

bridge:

how wide,

how deep,

how great

is Your love for me.

and i started weeping..

He danced over me,rejoiced over me and loved me....

I'm desperate...and i wants to go back to the 1st love..

God,hear my cry and bring me back...i felt lonely,scared and pathetic.

I'm so sick of all the worldliness...and I'm sorry..